


Turning the page(of the same old book)

by WisdomAvi



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Clint Needs a Hug, M/M, Phil Needs a Hug, not exactly a fluffy christmas fic, things bet broken, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 19:05:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WisdomAvi/pseuds/WisdomAvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Coulson breaks things,and the power of Christmas movies helps sort-of fix them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turning the page(of the same old book)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Saone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saone/gifts).



There was a certain kind of story Phil loved reading when he was younger. Some things and small details changed from story to story but they were all essentially the same. The hero of the story would be torn, between saving the lives of millions of people or the life of someone he cared about. That person was sometimes a close friend or family member, but it was almost always a love interest.

Phil loved watching the hero struggle to make the right decision and cried when he made the one everyone knew he would. To young Phil there was no other way the decision could go. The hero might at one point decide that his lover is more important but in the end he always chooses to save the lives of all the other people. Heroes were selfless, noble and they didn’t value one life over another, so obviously they would save the lives of millions of people over just one, no matter how much they loved someone.  
As Phil sits in his hospital bed, listening to Nick lay down the facts, he knows that his younger self is right, knows that this will, has saved millions of people and Clint (whose eyes are no longer blue and lifeless). This is temporary, they’ll see another soon. Clint will understand. Phil knows this is the right thing to do, but it still doesn’t stop it from hurting.

It’s not what he was expecting. He was excepting relief, shock, maybe confusion but not anger. He has never seen Clint this angry before.  
Clint clenches his hand on the mission statement, looks down at the table- doesn’t look at Phil –as Fury explains, because they needed the push, they had to be the heroes that the world needed and they didn’t step up. He hasn’t even glanced at Phil, not since before Fury started talking.

“I’ll let you two talk “apparently Nick has finished his speech. He walks out of the briefing room and closes the door behind him.  
Clint’s still staring at the surface of the table so Phil almost can’t see his mouth moving.”You told me once that trust was the most important part of a relationship,.. you said “his voice grows colder with each word, barely contained anger just waiting to burst from to the surface. ”that was why you and I worked so well, because we had a unshakable trust in each other to do the right things.”

“This was bigger than us Clint, we had to make sure you...”

“We accepted our responsibility.” Clint finishes the sentence and finally looks up at Phil. His face is full with so much rage that Phil is shocked for a little moment.”Did you really think I would have done anything to endanger the initiative, after watching you work so hard to make it happen. Do you really think I’m that incapable of keeping my mouth shut.”

Now Phil is getting annoyed. Why is Clint being so difficult. Clint of all people knows the sacrifices that need to be made in their line of work “This had nothing to do with you Clint. I did what I had to do”  
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD FOR SIX MONTHS “he screams at Phil. He’s expecting more but Clint suddenly slumps where he’s leaning on the table.”I had to bury you. Fury even gave a fucking flag the bastard” Clint’s talking softer now, head bent, not looking at Phil again.

“I’m sorry Clint” Phil says softly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry too “Clint stands up, marches to the door and leaves looking calm and collected except his hand still has an iron grip on the mission statement.  
If sometimes during his physical therapy he gets the feeling that someone is watching him, he doesn’t let himself look at the vent. He takes a deep breath and quickly shakes it off because Clint won’t even look at him so he’s probably imagining it. He’s lost the most important person in his life and there’s noting he can do about it.

 

Jarvis refuses to open the door for him. It takes him fifteen minutes to convince him to let him in. Pepper doesn’t say anything, just gives him the “you fucked up bad “look that is normally aimed at Stark. The rest of the Avengers have closed ranks around Clint like a bunch of guard dogs and either treat Phil with respect but not much warmth (Captain Rogers, Dr.Banner) glare and make scratching comments (Natasha, Stark) or tell him tales of how the bond between lovers may bend but it seldom breaks easily and that his hawkeyed brother will forgive him (Thor).

He finds Clint in the shooting range. He’s hitting the moving targets with ease, nocking and releasing the arrows with lighting speed, a new one before the old one even leaves his hands.  
Wilson and Barns are a few feet away (they always seem to be a few feet away these days) with bows of their own mimicking Clint’s form. Phil had been surprised when Nick told him about these three unlikely friends. He knows that Clint had offered to teach Wilson archery and help Barnes improve his own skills.(He also knows that after their training sessions they sometimes go out, Barnes always sitting close to Clint with Wilson right on his other side).Phil accepts the fact that he ruined everything, and he knows that Clint will eventually find someone else, but it still hurts to walk in the range and have Clint not meet his eyes.

Thing slowly improve over the next few months. The Avengers have mostly forgiven Phil, or gotten used to his presence. Clint actually looks at him sometimes now. Their relationship is like it was at the beginning in some ways, and vastly different in others.(Barnes and Wilson still continue to be everywhere Clint is)

 

The first night after he moves in the tower-Nick finally having convinced him- he finds himself in the rec room blankly looking at the screen lost in thought. Every time he closes his eyes he feels the blue creeping in, just waiting until he lets his guard down. He gave up trying to sleep half an hour ago, instead finding himself in front of the giant flat screen in the living room. There’s a Christmas movie just starting and Phil somehow gets so absorbed he doesn’t notice Clint until the commercial break. He wonders if he’s awake for the same reasons Phil is, but Clint doesn’t say anything so Phil doesn’t either. They just sit on opposite sides on the couch and finish watching the movie.

This late night movie watching keeps happening more over the next couple of months. They don’t really talk much, just sit and watch the movie, which always happens to be a Christmas themed one.  
Phil Coulson has always believed in the power of stories. From a boy reading about bravery, to a young man studying deep philosophical issues, he has understood how stories work. As the message of forgiveness and love gets played out on the screen, the light casting warm shadows on Clint’s face, Phil thinks their story might have a happy ending after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to apologize to Saone in advance for this,your story will probably be a million times better,but this is my first time doing one of these things so be gentle please.Happy holidays!!!


End file.
